Large Female Ape Hands Sighted in Rural Area- Easter Shocker

Isn't that below image just plain terrifying... people MOISTURISE or your hands will end up like mine. I slapped another coffee jar worth of Dead Sea mud onto my hands in an attempt to remove fake tan from the palms of my hands, ( covered myself in fake tan and forgot to wash my hands.. looks like my hands are from Portugal and the rest of me from Siberia). Once, the mud dried, I captured the below picture. It highlights how wrinkled and worn my hands are. And that I am second cousin, twice removed to an ape.

It is worth noting, that my hand situation did improve somewhat once I had removed the mud. They don't have quite as terrifying an appearance as when encased in mud, instead presenting a slighty more human aspect that leaves one questioning ones potential ape blood lines.