Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Only two more days and I am finished work. To say I am "winding down" would be an understatement. I am moving around the office with all the speed of a slug taking a leisurely slide with the efficiency of a hanging sloth. Indeed, productive. Tomorrow, I will have a staff lunch with my team and some of the girls and, then, Friday sees my leaving do. I am prepping the camera for shame inducing pictorials. It shall not be given to anyone else unless they promise to take flattering pictures of me. A flawless plan!

Once all that is done, I will have to get around to doing some packing. An activity I LOATHE. So much so that I would not be shocked if I start binning things so I don't have to pack them and drag them to Limerick and then all the way to Canada! Aaahhh laziness.

Of course my actual arrival into Canada is under serious doubt at the moment. I have a visa...... somewhere in the world. I haven't recieved any paper stating that I have been approved for entry into Canada. If I don't get this piece of paper soon I have zero proof that I have a visa waiting for me in Canada, therefore prohibting me from gaining entry to Canadialand.

And can I get any response from the people who are supposed to be dealing with it? But of course not.

Sunday, April 08, 2007


I ate so much chocolate today ( as well as Easter Sunday lunch and Easter Sunday dinner, followed by Easter Sunday drinks and Easter Sunday coffees), that I have been forced to pop a Motillium and some antacid pill to ease the churning, the pain and the will to end it all. I think I will have a little lie down and reflect on my blatant abuse of one of the Seven Deadly Sins- Gluttony.

Spent the day with my Gran. She is quite the funny little poppet- she has a very kind, innocent view of the world, only telling happy, positive stories about people, no matter how devious a conman they are. Recently, she got satellite TV installed and so has been enjoying the pleasures of multiple channels. She is coming to terms, albeit slowly, with the sudden appearance of two remote controls. One is for operating the TV itself with terrestrial channels and the other is to control satellite channels. Gran doesn't quite see it that way. She refers to the terrestrial remote as her "shortwave remote" and the satellite one as her "longwave remote". It is very sweet, yet also, oddly logical for a person that was raised with only radio as a form of entertainment. Keep it familiar is what I say.

We also took her on a tour of all the graves. Once you get to her age, it's good to keep in with the relatives who've passed on before you- you always need someone to save you a decent seat with the dude upstairs. She is the only lady who enjoys these little trps. There is a lot I could learn from her- from finding the silver lining in every single situation, whether good or bad to making people drink so much tea against their will that they want medical attention
Large Female Ape Hands Sighted in Rural Area- Easter Shocker

Isn't that below image just plain terrifying... people MOISTURISE or your hands will end up like mine. I slapped another coffee jar worth of Dead Sea mud onto my hands in an attempt to remove fake tan from the palms of my hands, ( covered myself in fake tan and forgot to wash my hands.. looks like my hands are from Portugal and the rest of me from Siberia). Once, the mud dried, I captured the below picture. It highlights how wrinkled and worn my hands are. And that I am second cousin, twice removed to an ape.

It is worth noting, that my hand situation did improve somewhat once I had removed the mud. They don't have quite as terrifying an appearance as when encased in mud, instead presenting a slighty more human aspect that leaves one questioning ones potential ape blood lines.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Mud Mud Everywhere..............

My parents spent a few weeks in Jordan enjoying the Eastern sun, hypersaline sea and mineral sand. Seeing as they were at the Dead Sea for a number of days and had tired of endless floating, Indiana Jones sets and gorging on luxury buffets, they decided instead to pack as much of the black mineral mud into coffee jars as they could. Indeed a classy pair. It is reported that the mud aids in circulation, lessens the effects of extreme skin disorders and deposits essential minerals in the skin. How fabulous. I lathered my face with it this evening. I shall keep you updated on the results. I am sure you are on the edge of your seat, dying with anticipation. Below is the Kenco jar which looks like it has been filled with rather squishy turds. Underneath is me with mineral mud on face. I would consider myself to not be a squishy turd.

Update- my skin didn't like the mud. And before any of you smartasses point out you shouldn't put it on your face, may I point out that the Dead Sea Spa ladies ( they do exist), assured my mother that it is safe. However, in the hours since, my skin has turned red and is rather itchy. Plus the removal of all the toxins has caused a spot outbreak on my chin. Mutter.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

I am so tired I have gone beyond being tired. I cannot sleep and am running on nervous energy. I have cleared up my Sunday for sleep. I may squeeze in a little nod to daylight. No promises.